thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
