Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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