are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sorry about my life...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
