Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think my moral compass just broke
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
