So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The ass gains better be worth it
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