I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
