....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
