Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
