I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
