tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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