So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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