I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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