No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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