sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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