Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
