I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
