So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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