I'm lost and stupid without you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
