Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
