areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
