i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
