She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
