Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
