He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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