you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
