Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
