Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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