I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I look better un-naked...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
