do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
