Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
