please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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