we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
