He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I will pee on everything he values.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
