You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
