my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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