My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Randomize
