brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
