I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
two words: eviction party
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
