i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
