I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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