hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
