So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
