well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
