If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
