the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
