The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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