An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
