worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
