What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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