haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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