R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
