Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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