i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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