Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
