You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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