my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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