Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
