just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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