so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
